but the lizard people decide everything anyway
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Randomize
