he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
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