he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
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