Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
