My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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