Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize
