So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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