dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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