so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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