she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
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