Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
