You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
