jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
A+ Viking dick
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
