Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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