In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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