I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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