; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Randomize
