I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Randomize
