Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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