Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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