Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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