Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
