Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
