Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Randomize
