just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
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