I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
