hotel room ftw
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
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