Can Purell be used as lube?
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
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