I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
