I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
