I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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