so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
