I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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