I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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