I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
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