Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
