OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I am midnight drunk by noon
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
