i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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