I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
