Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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