i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
