Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
