I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Randomize
