Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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