hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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