you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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