is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
We're too hungover to prance.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
