I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
