I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
