Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
