1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
he puts the penis in happiness.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
