I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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