my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
